The Real Princess

The story of the Princess and the Pea is a famous one. Hans Christian Andersen taught the girls of the world that to be Princess, you must be refined and so delicate that you can’t sleep on anything that isn’t perfect. What a great message – I don’t think.

This story is a retelling of this tale – only this time, dear reader, you will know the truth.

First, let’s read Mr. Andersen’s tale as a reminder of what the world has been lead to believe all these years:

The Real Princess (The Princess and the Pea) as told by Hans Christian Andersen

There was once a prince and he wanted a princess, but then she must be a real Princess. He traveled right around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly.

One evening there was a terrible storm; it thundered and lightninged and the rain poured down in torrents; indeed it was a fearful night.

In the middle of the storm somebody knocked at the town gate, and the old King himself sent to open it.

It was a princess who stood outside, but she was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out at the heel, but she said that she was a real princess.

‘Well we shall soon see if that is true,’ thought the old Queen, but she said nothing. She went into the bedroom, took all the bed clothes off and laid a pea on the bedstead: then she took twenty mattresses and piled them on top of the pea, and then twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. This was where the princess was to sleep that night. In the morning they asked her how she slept.

‘Oh terribly bad!’ said the princess. ‘I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!’

They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.

So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess, and the pea was put into the Museum, where it may still be seen if no one has stolen it.

Now this is a true story

And now, here’s the real story……

————-

“Our son is quite upset, Lenore.”

“Yes, I know, Lionel.”

“He tells me that his travels were for naught and he was unable to find a suitable Princess to be his bride.”

“Yes. He tells me the same.”

“I suppose he told you of the many women who pretended to be of royal birth but were not of any royal blood whatsoever?”

“Yes, he did tell me of these treacherous women.”

“I fear that he will not find a bride by his twenty-first birthday and that there will be no heir to pass the crown to once he has departed this earth.”

“Don’t say that, my Lord!” Queen Lenore exclaimed, pressing her fingers to her chest. “There must be a grandchild before either of us pass on.”

“I am King, my Lady, but not even I can control the fates.”

“We must do our best.”

“You know, I’m sitting right here.”

The King and Queen looked toward the middle of the long dining table to where their son, Leonard, sat. He was reclining back, his feet on the table.

“My son,” the Queen said, “please sit up properly. You are the future King and must start acting appropriately.”

“Why? I won’t be King until Pops kicks it, right? He looks pretty healthy to me.”

Queen Lenore cleared her throat and looked down to continue her meal.

“You have upset your mother,” King Lionel said, giving his son a stern expression. “Apologize.”

“Sorry ‘bout that, Mom. Won’t happen again.” He removed his feet from the table and sat up straight. He looked down at his meal and scowled. The cooks would insist on preparing boiled cabbage for him. He had once lied to his mother about loving boiled cabbage and now it was prepared for him almost every meal. He ate it for it was a crime punishable by death to lie to any member of the royal family, even if the liar were a member of that family himself.

All three of them looked up when a soft knocking was heard at the door.

“Who in the blazes-“ began the King, but Leonard sprang from his chair, looking for any excuse to escape the green mush on his plate.

Their manservant, Henry, opened the door, looking very nervous. “Pardon me, your majesties, but there is a young lady at the door-“

“Why have you interrupted us for this?!” demanded the King. “We-“

“Chill, Pops,” Leonard said, walking toward the door.

“She claims to be a Princess,” Henry said, visibly shaking. “She demanded that I request your presence for she is stranded and needs shelter for the night.”

“A Princess?” the King said, his eyes lighting up. “Did she look like a real Princess?”

“I – well – frankly, your Majesty, I question her lineage. She looks quite the worse for wear.”

“I’ll check her out,” Leonard said. “I’ll be able to tell.”

Leonard stepped out and the door shut behind him with a click.

“My husband,” Queen Lenore said in a hushed voice. “I know a way to tell for certain whether this young lady is a Princess or an imposter.”

“Please, tell me how!” the King demanded.

“We must invite her to stay the night, no matter how she looks. She will be lodged in the main guest quarters.”

“Yes, yes,” he prompted, seeing that there was more to his wife’s plan.

“We will pile twenty mattresses on the bed, and twenty more feather beds atop the mattresses. But first, beneath all of them, we will place one, single pea.”

The King stared at her, taken aback. “I beg your pardon, my dear?”

“No real Princess would be able to stand sleeping in a bed with a pea under it, no matter how many mattresses there are.”

“Oh ho,” the King said, chuckling. “I see. Yes, we will do as you say. You take care of the bed while I greet our… heh heh…Princess.”

—-

She wasn’t a Princess. Leonard knew it for sure. He had seen this woman on his travels and knew her to be the hand maiden of another woman claiming to be a Princess two kingdoms away. Leonard had been sure the Princess of the land had been an actual Princess, but the girl had been unseemly in attitude, refusing the Prince’s advances and turning him out of her chambers.

He did not believe the hand maiden had ever seen him, although he had seen her helping her mistress disrobe for her bath.

Leonard said nothing, however, when his father greeted her graciously and invited her into the dining room. She was served a large supper of meat, cabbage and wine and then sent up to the guest chambers. Leonard had sat across from her and they had exchanged many glances. He knew she found him as attractive as he found her.

It was too bad that she would be executed the next day.

When the Queen led the young woman out of the dining room, she glanced back at the Prince and gave him a smile that caused his stomach to leap and his loins to tighten. He smiled back, feeling quite fortunate that the guest chambers were only one door away from his own.

- – - -

The castle had been quiet for an hour when Prince Leonard slid out of bed. He padded quietly to the door and opened it slowly. He peered up and down the dark hallway. A guard was turning the corner at the end of the passage so he shut the door and listened intently. He re-opened the door five minutes later to find an empty and completely dark passageway.

He left his room, shutting the door behind him, and swiftly walked toward the guest chambers. He slipped inside as quietly as a mouse.

The room was dimly lit by the dying fire in the fireplace but he could see the towering stack of mattresses and feather beds. He looked up, wondering how he was going to get up there.

“Do you know what this is all about?”

He jumped and looked to his left to see the hand-maiden standing there, clad in only a thin nightgown. She was standing before the fire and he could see her shapely form clearly through the cloth.

“Yes,” he said, regaining his composure. “She is testing you – to see if you are a real Princess.”

“What do twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds have to do with it?” she asked, and he could hear the nervousness in her voice.

“Nothing,” he said. “It’s the pea beneath them.”

“Pea?” she echoed. “What are you talking about?”

“Look, babe,” he said, facing her. “I know who you really are, and you’re no Princess.”

“I – I am so,” she stammered, but her cheeks were turning bright red.

“No, you’re a hand-maiden. To that bitch Zemelda.”

Her brows furrowed and her expression turned cloudy. “Do not speak that name to me again,” she spat.

Leonard raised an eyebrow. “You are speaking to a Prince.”

“I don’t really care,” she said. “I’m going to die now anyway, aren’t I? I know what happens to liars here.”

“Then why did you lie?” he asked.

“I needed a place to sleep. There is nowhere else within a mile of this castle. I just couldn’t go any further without food. If I’m going to die, I’d rather die on a full stomach and in warmth than on the side of the road.”

“I can’t blame you,” he said.

The woman sighed and sat heavily in the chair before the fire. “I can’t believe the fix I’m in,” she said. “All I wanted was a new life, away from that woman.”

“I don’t see why you still can’t,” he said, walking towards her.

“Oh, and how is that?” she asked. “You know who I am – or, more appropriately, who I’m not.”

“I’ll lie.”

“But – you – I – why would you do that?”

“I like you – anyone who hates Zemelda as much as you do can’t be all bad. And I have a feeling you wouldn’t turn down a good fuck.”

She smiled slowly and said, “No. I would not say no.”

“Aces. I’ll stay here tonight, violating every orifice in your body and in the morning I will lie and say that I saw you in my travels, many lands away, and that you are, indeed, a Princess.”

“I will be forever in your debt.”

“Take off your gown.”

“You certainly get straight to the point.”

“Yes, now hurry up so I can show you my other point.”

She stood from her chair and pulled her gown over her head. She threw it back onto the chair and looked at the Prince, no longer blushing. Leonard’s eyes moved up her body slowly, taking in her long legs, her round hips, slightly plump belly and ample breasts.

Leonard broke out of his reverie and pulled his own clothing over his head and threw it onto the floor. He stepped toward her and was pleased to see that she did not back away. He moved past her and sat in the chair as she turned to face him, looking down at him.

“Get on your knees,” he said. “Please.”

“A Prince who says please. This is an odd day.”

She did as requested and moved between his legs, which he parted as she drew near. He grasped the back of her head and she bent down, parting her lips.

“Ah!” he said softly as her mouth folded over the head of his already hard cock. “Yes,” he whispered. “I’ve been hard since dinner, just waiting to fuck your mouth.”

He released her head and reclined back, resting his arms on the armrests. He watched her as she sucked his dick, moaning occasionally, sighing often. His last blow-job had been over a month before from the Queen of Elmsland, the bitch Princess Zemelda’s mother. He closed his eyes and laughed, remembering how he had seduced the handsome woman while her husband slept less than twenty feet away.

The false Princess moved on his cock slowly, letting her tongue swirl about him completely with each thrust of her head. The suction she was applying was amazing!

“Keep going,” he whispered. “I’m almost ready to fuck you.” He felt her moan against his cock and laughed again. He believed she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

“All right,” he said after a few more moments. Instead of pulling away, she moved both hands to the base of his dick and held him firmly, moving her tongue around the head at a maddening pace.

“Stop!” he cried and grasped her head. He carefully pulled her up and she came off, gasping, looking into his eyes.

“Why do you stop me?” she asked. “I love having a man in my mouth. Please, let me finish you.”

“No, I want to fuck you now,” he said. “If you get me off I’ll have to wait. I’m not into waiting.”

She finally removed her hands from him and sat back. “Okay,” she said with a deep breath. “Forgive my enthusiasm.”

“Nothing to forgive,” he said, grasping her shoulders. He got onto the floor, kneeling in front of her. He wrapped his arms about her and pulled her tight against him. “It’s rare to find a wench so willing and so eager.”

“Oh, it’s not so rare,” she said with a smile. “Many just like to play hard to get.”

Leonard pressed his mouth against hers, moving his tongue between her lips. She parted them immediately and sucked his tongue into her mouth. He placed his hands on her round ass cheeks and squeezed. She moaned and arched her back, pressing her breasts even harder against his chest.

“Your tits are awesome,” he said, looking down at the mounds flattened against him. “I’d love to put my cock there, slide it up and down while you hold yourself around me.”

She pulled away from him and crawled the few feet to the fireplace, in front of which was a huge, luxurious, white fur rug. She lay on her back and grasped both of her breasts, holding them apart.

Leonard followed her and moved himself over her, straddling her stomach. He placed his heavy cock between her spread breasts and she immediately pushed them together, pressing her soft flesh against them.

“Oh yeah,” he said, thrusting slowly. “You are my type um, uh – what is your name?”

“Lisette,” she said, smiling at him. “I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ask.”

“Lisette,” he repeated. “You are my type of woman. Beautiful, willing, unafraid of risk.

“I like you too,” she whispered, leaning her head back to avoid being hit in the chin with the head of his cock.

“Mmm, I could do this until I come all over your lovely breasts, but I want to fuck. Do you want me to fuck you, Lisette?”

“I don’t care what you do, as long as this meat is pressing against me.”

He pulled back, removing his dick from between her breasts. She lowered her chin and looked up at him. “Roll over,” he ordered.

She smiled at him as he moved to her side, giving her room to roll. When she was on her stomach, he once again pressed his palms against her plump cheeks. She giggled when he moved his lips against her behind, leaving a trail of soft kisses.

His hands moved to her hips and he pulled. She pushed herself up onto her knees and he got behind her, placing his legs on either side of hers.

Leonard, pressed the head of his cock against her pussy and pushed in just a bit, then pulled out to run it up and down her slit, getting himself wet. She gasped when it bumped against her clit so he did it again and a few times more. Each time her moan grew just a bit louder.

Finally, he pushed his cock deeper inside of her and began thrusting, moving deeper each time. “You are so wet,” he said, his breathing a little heavy.

“Oh yes,” she growled. “Fuck me, my Prince. Fuck me fast and fuck me hard.”

“If only you were a real Princess…”

He began to thrust in earnest, placing both hands on her hips and gripping them tightly. His cock sliced into her over and over and at an ever-increasing tempo. He could hear her stifling her cries of pleasure and he did his best to stay quiet as well. He would not be in trouble for fucking her, even if she were a real Princess, but he did not want to jeopardize their plan in any way.

“Oh yeah,” he said weakly, raising his face to the ceiling. “I’m about to come.”

“Yes!” she whispered. “Yes! Fuck me, fuck me!”

He began moving even faster, his breath loud, his heart pounding in his ears. He stifled his cries when he exploded, but a low, strangled sound erupted from him as she moaned deeply, pressing her ass back against him.

Leonard held himself fast against her for several long moments, letting the orgasm finish its course through his body. Finally, he released her hips and moved back, letting his softening cock slide out of her. She fell forward, moaning softly and he fell beside her onto his back, still breathing deep to catch his breath.

When his normal breathing had returned to him, he broke the silence. “Thanks,” he said. “That’s the best fuck I’ve had in months.”

“Me too,” she said, rolling onto her back.

Leonard moved onto his side and looked down at her. He grasped her breast and began rubbing her nipple with is thumb. “You are lovely,” he said.

“So are you,” she said. She closed her eyes and said, “That feels very good, my Prince.”

She gasped when he lowered himself and began to suck her nipple, kneading her breast with his hand. He lifted his face to hers and said, “Why do you seem surprised? Don’t all the men you bed fondle your breasts?”

“Yes, but – I did not expect you to try to give me pleasure.”

He grinned and said, “I’m a Prince and I can be a bastard, but I pride myself on being a good lover.”

“Prove it.”

He wrapped both arms about her and moved his mouth over her nipple again, moaning as he sucked. She writhed beneath him and ran her hands over his back, grasping at his flesh. He moved to her second nipple and did the same which caused her to begin whimpering in pleasure.

He moved his hand from her back and began moving it slowly down her stomach. A small cry escaped her when his middle finger parted her pussy lips and pressed against her clit.

Lisette thrust her hips upwards against his hand. He applied more pressure and moved two more fingers against her clit, beginning to stroke her.

“Oh yes,” she said. “Yes, right there.”

She moved with him, grinding against his hand, moaning, sighing and gasping sharply. When she came, she did not cry out but her entire body shuddered and she stopped breathing. Her nails dug into his shoulders just a bit but her grip soon released him and her body went limp as she began to breathe once again.

Leonard pulled away from her breast and got onto his hands and knees above her. She opened her eyes and said, “Thanks.”

“No problem, babe. Spread your legs.”

They were already spread, but Lisette moved them even wider apart. Leonard lowered himself and in one swift move was inside her once again. She bent her knees and moved her arms about him to grasp his ass.

Leonard did not begin thrusting but instead lowered himself even further, pressing his chest against hers. He kissed her but not like he had before. It was a slow, sweet kiss and he could hear Lisette making sounds of surprised pleasure.

He began thrusting at a medium, even tempo, not breaking their kiss for a long while and when he finally did, he propped himself on his elbows, remaining close to her. He looked into her eyes as he thrust, wondering why it had taken him so long to realize just how brown those eyes were.

“You are a beautiful woman,” he said softly. She smiled and he saw her cheeks turn red.

He lowered himself onto her again, grasping her sides firmly. She gasped when he quite suddenly rolled onto his back, holding her tight against him. She quickly regained her composure and bent her knees up to give her leverage so that she could take over the thrusts.

She sat up and began to writhe in his lap, still moving slowly, up and down his cock. He watched her, knowing he couldn’t last much longer like this. The sight of her riding him, her breasts bouncing in time, her head tilted back, her lips parted.

“Lisette, I’m close.”

“Touch me,” she whispered. He hesitated – no woman had ever dared request anything of him in bed before – but moved both hands up to her breasts, rubbing both nipples. She began to cry out softly. When she came, he surprised himself by coming almost immediately after.

Lisette slowly moved herself on top of him and pressed her mouth against his. He held her tightly, kissing her back with as much passion as she was giving him.

When she broke it to look down at him, he softly said, “I have a new plan.”

- – -

“Well?”

“My test worked, my Lord!” Queen Lenore exclaimed, clasping her hands to her breasts as she rushed to her husband. He had been waiting in the throne room for her arrival.

“Are you certain?” King Lionel said.

“Oh yes. When I went to check on her, she climbed down from the bed and I asked her how she had slept and this is what she said: Oh terribly bad! I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible! I watched as she bathed and dressed and I saw the bruises and the dark circles under her eyes. She is delicate and refined.”

“That is wonderful,” the King said, laughing deeply. “Your son was just here to speak with me. He has asked permission to begin courting the young woman and I whole-heartedly agreed, as long as you deemed it proper.”

“I do indeed. For she is a real Princess.”